Don’t Have Your Baby Without Doing These 5 Things for Your Relationship
Becoming parents changes everything—especially your relationship.
When the baby arrives, it’s easy to focus on gear, classes, and checklists. But the truth? None of that matters as much as the strength of your partnership. At the end of the sleepless nights and spit-up-filled days, you need each other. And if you don’t plan for it now, it’s too easy to grow apart just when you need connection the most.
We’re Chelsea and Mike Skaggs, relationship coaches (and parents) who know what it’s like to go from flirty dates to trading off middle-of-the-night shifts. We help couples plan for their foundation, not just the baby registry.
Here are 5 relationship shifts most couples never talk about, but absolutely need to prepare for before baby arrives
1. Emotional Disconnection Will Happen
You’ll still love each other. But in the chaos of parenting, you can start to feel like ships passing in the night. Eye contact becomes rare. Conversations shift from dreams and jokes to diapers and duty.
If you don’t name it early, distance grows fast.
Try this now:
Schedule a 10-minute check-in each evening—no agenda, just connection.
Protect a daily “no phones” moment. Maybe it’s dinner, maybe it’s the first 10 minutes after work.
Share one compliment or gratitude a day with your partner.
When couples in our Pre-Baby Blueprint program build these habits before baby arrives, they have something to return to when things get hard. Instead of losing each other in the overwhelm, they have a shared rhythm of reconnection.
2. The Invisible Load Becomes Heavy
Most new parents don’t realize how uneven the mental load becomes until resentment sets in.
One partner might feel like they’re carrying everything—the tracking, scheduling, planning—and the other doesn’t even realize it.
That’s a recipe for bitterness.
Start the conversation:
Write out all your current daily, weekly, and monthly tasks.
Add “mental” tasks like remembering appointments or packing the diaper bag.
Ask: what feels fair right now, and what might need to shift when baby arrives?
Inside our coaching, we provide templates to help make the invisible visible, and help you turn that list into a plan you both own.
3. Intimacy Will Change—That Doesn’t Mean It’s Gone
You’re exhausted. Your body doesn’t feel like your own. Maybe you’re touched out or your libido is on vacation.
Most couples are blindsided by the intimacy shift.
Start preparing now:
Talk about what helps you feel emotionally connected (and what shuts you down).
Normalize changes in desire, especially during postpartum recovery.
Create a shared definition of intimacy that includes affection, fun, and non-sexual closeness.
When couples do this work with us before birth, they have the language and understanding to navigate it without shame, confusion, or pressure.
4. Communication Breakdowns Are Inevitable
Sleep-deprived brains don’t communicate well. You’ll either fight more or stop talking at all.
The trick? Have a plan before the tension rises.
Here’s what works:
Choose a weekly check-in time that feels realistic.
Agree on a “pause” word for when conversations get too heated.
Practice reflective listening (even for just 5 minutes a week).
Our Pre-Baby Relationship Blueprint gives you the scripts, systems, and support to build communication tools you’ll actually use because in the middle of a blow-up, you need something you already trust.
5. The ‘Us’ Gets Lost Fast
You’re becoming Mom and Dad, but you're also still you.
In early parenthood, many couples feel like they’ve lost their shared identity. It’s not just about finding time for a date night—it’s about remembering who you are as a couple.
Try this:
Write down 3 things that define your relationship now.
Name one ritual that helps you feel close, then protect it fiercely.
Make a “we list”—things you want to keep doing together post-baby.
In coaching, we help couples articulate and protect their unique connection. It’s not about going back—it’s about growing forward together.
You Don’t Need to Wait for a Crisis
Most couples wait until they’re already drowning to reach for support. But what if you could set yourselves up for success now?
The Pre-Baby Relationship Blueprint is a 6-week experience to help you:
Stay emotionally close through chaos
Divide the load before resentment builds
Redefine intimacy for this new season
Set up communication rhythms that work
Keep your partnership strong as you become parents
The truth is: You don’t have to know how to do all this alone. Most couples never learned these skills, and that’s okay. With the right tools and guidance, you can enter parenthood as a united team.
Click here to get all the Blueprint details and join now—because your relationship deserves as much preparation as your birth plan.
Want to talk it through first? Email me at chelsea@postpartumtogether.com with your questions. We’re here to help you get ready for baby and for each other.
