How to Enjoy Motherhood When It Feels Like a Never-Ending To-Do List

How to Enjoy Motherhood When It Feels Like a Never-Ending To-Do List

If you’ve ever collapsed on the couch after bedtime, stared at the dishes still in the sink, and thought, “This is my life now?”—you’re not alone.
Motherhood is beautiful, yes. But it’s also relentless.
Sometimes it feels less like a role you’re living in and more like a never-ending list you can’t keep up with.

So how are you supposed to enjoy it?

Let’s get real. You don’t need to love every second. You don’t need to romanticize the chaos. But you do deserve to feel more grounded, more connected, and more yourself—even with the to-do list screaming your name.

This blog is your reminder (and permission slip) to stop trying to "do it all" and start learning how to be in it. To feel more peace, more presence, and yes, even more joy.

Let’s talk about how.

The Mindset Shift: You Are Not the List

Here’s the thing: The reason so many moms feel like they’re drowning isn’t just because there’s too much to do.
It’s because we’ve tied our worth to whether or not we get it all done.

That’s the trap.

Somewhere along the way, modern motherhood became about productivity over presence. Efficiency over emotional connection.
And when you’re holding all the invisible pieces of planning meals, managing doctor appointments, remembering birthdays, handling meltdowns it’s no wonder you can’t slow down enough to enjoy any of it.

👉 The shift? You are not the to-do list. You’re the human living this life.

You are allowed to step back, breathe, and re-center.
You are allowed to let things go that don’t serve your family or your sanity.
And you are allowed to ask: “What would make this feel better?”

Now let’s get practical.

1. Set a “Done for the Day” Time

One of the most powerful ways to reclaim your joy is to put a boundary around the never-ending.
Because the truth is, it really will never end. There’s always something to do.

But that doesn’t mean you have to do it all today.

Try this:

• Pick a “done for the day” time—maybe it’s 7:30pm or 9:00pm.

• When that time hits, the list is closed.

• Anything left can wait until tomorrow.

This simple shift helps your brain switch out of task mode and into presence. It gives your nervous system space to relax.
It lets you be a person again.

💡Tip: Use this time for something that fills you back up: a hot bath, a book, watching your show guilt-free, or just sitting in silence (truly underrated).

2. Name the Invisible Work (Then Share It)

A huge reason motherhood feels overwhelming is because so much of the work is invisible.
You’re mentally juggling groceries, teacher emails, your kid’s changing shoe size, your partner’s bad mood, and the fact that no one has folded the laundry in four days.

This is the mental load, and it’s real.

According to a 2019 study by Bright Horizons, 89% of working moms say they feel solely responsible for organizing the family’s schedules, even when they are not the only adult in the household.

But if it’s invisible, it’s impossible to share.

So the first step is to name it. Out loud. On paper. In your Notes app. (My clients do this on our conversation app just to get it out of their heads so we can work with it.)

Then share it. Talk to your partner. Loop in support. Don’t just vent- ask for redistribution. And not in an attacking way, but in a way that calls in the power of teamwork in your relationship and home.

It’s not about delegating like a boss. It’s about reclaiming your energy and making joy possible again.

➡️ If this hits home, I dive deeper into this exact shift in my Mastering the Mental Load Workshop Replay. You’ll walk away with language, strategies, and scripts to shift the load without another argument. Watch it here.

3. Create Micro-Moments of Presence

You don’t need a full day at the spa to feel joy. (Though if you can get that, please do.)

Joy often lives in tiny, intentional moments. These can exist inside the chaos.
Look for 2-minute windows to tune into your senses and connect with your child (or yourself).

Some ideas:

• Take a deep breath while holding your child’s hand.

• Sit on the floor for one whole snack time with your phone in another room.

• Smell their hair after a bath. (Seriously. It’s grounding.)

• Laugh with them when something spills instead of snapping.

These are the moments that bring you back to the heart of motherhood, not the management of it.

You don’t have to wait for the list to be done to feel present. Just practice noticing the now—even if it’s loud and sticky and chaotic.

4. Lower the Bar on Purpose

Yes, I said it.

Lower the bar. Do yourself the favor.

We’re fed an impossible standard: perfectly fed, well-behaved kids; a Pinterest kitchen; a thriving career; a toned body; an unbothered smile.
It’s nonsense. And it’s keeping you from your joy.

Here’s your permission to:

• Use paper plates tonight.

• Say no to another birthday party.

• Leave the clean laundry in the basket.

• Let your kids watch a movie so you can take a break.

Lowering the bar isn’t failure. It’s a radical act of alignment.
It’s saying: “What matters most right now?” and giving yourself permission to focus on just that.

Because joy is found in what you actually care about, not what you think you should be doing.

5. Build a Support System That Honors Your Capacity

The truth? You were never meant to do this alone.
Not the parenting. Not the emotional weight. Not the mental logistics.

But in our individualized, hustle-harder culture, moms are often left without a village.

You deserve support that doesn’t make you feel guilty or “too much.”
That might look like:

• Therapy or coaching (I can help!)

• A friend you can voice note every meltdown to

• A partner who actually helps carry the load (and knows what the load is) *Ahem, this is one of my specialities so if you’re rolling your eyes saying “that must be nice” let’s talk.*

• Opt-ins and workshops that give you real tools for the real season you’re in

Your capacity is not the problem. The system you’re in might be.
So let’s stop trying to force joy in a structure that’s broken and start rebuilding one that supports your actual life.

Real Talk: What Enjoyment Looks Like Now

Let’s be honest: “enjoy” doesn’t always mean love. It doesn’t mean every day is magical or you suddenly feel calm when the toddler screams in the restaurant.

It means you’re building a life that has room for you in it, too.

It means you can laugh more. Feel lighter. Let go of the guilt. And yes—enjoy this fleeting, messy, sacred season a little more.

Because motherhood is not a job to master.
It’s a relationship to experience.

Want To Understand Yourself Better Right Now?

If this resonated, I created a free 3-day audio series just for you.

In less than 10 minutes a day, we’ll dive into:
🎧 Mental Load — how to name it, stop shouldering it alone, and get your partner on board
🎧 Sex Drive — why it shifts in motherhood and how to rebuild connection without pressure
🎧 Resentment — what it’s really telling you and how to start healing it (without blowing things up)

You can listen while folding laundry, walking the stroller loop, or hiding in the pantry (no shame).

This is real talk, big sister-style—because you’re not broken, you’re just carrying too much.

👉 Grab the audio series here and start reclaiming your energy, your joy, and your voice in this season.

In Case You Need the Reminder:

You’re not doing it wrong.
You’re doing a lot.
And you’re allowed to want joy now, not someday when the list is done.

Breathe.
Step back.
Choose presence.
Lower the bar.

And remember—you are not the to-do list.
You’re the human, the heart, the mother behind it.

And you are worthy of joy.