Resentment Examples in Motherhood: What It Actually Looks Like in Each Season
Resentment isn’t always loud. It doesn’t always come with yelling or slamming doors. Often, it simmers under the surface, especially in motherhood. For me, resentment is a silent killer. It creeps in, digs its roots in deep and creates a chasm in my relationship that grows stronger the longer it’s left unaddressed.
If you’ve ever thought, “I shouldn’t feel this way,” but your body tightens when your partner says they’re tired… or when you’re left alone to juggle one more thing… you’re not alone.
In this post, we’re breaking down real-life resentment examples from the earliest days of trying to conceive all the way to parenting toddlers. Whether you’re here for validation, curiosity, or to finally put words to the weight you’re carrying—this guide is for you.
Resentment While Trying to Conceive
When you're trying to get pregnant, the emotions are intense and the stakes feel high. Resentment can creep in quickly, especially if it feels like the responsibility is falling mostly on one partner.
Examples of resentment during TTC:
“I’m the one tracking cycles, taking supplements, and going to appointments while you just… show up.”
Feeling frustrated that your partner still drinks alcohol or won’t change certain habits while you’re overhauling your life for fertility.
Being told to “just relax” when you’re deep in anxiety and emotional labor.
Disappointment when your partner doesn’t share the same urgency or emotional intensity you feel each month.
Note: Resentment here often stems from emotional labor imbalances and unshared mental loads, themes that only deepen as parenting begins. If you want to really get ahead of this and build some teamwork that won’t crumble, THIS is the time to get support and lucky for you Mike and I provide pre-baby blueprint coaching that can set you up for the relationship you want and deserve.
Resentment During Pregnancy
Pregnancy changes everything: your body, your identity, and your day-to-day reality. Meanwhile, it can feel like your partner’s life doesn’t shift nearly as much.
Examples of resentment in pregnancy:
You’re throwing up every morning, but your partner still gets up late and leaves the mess for you to clean.
They forget which week you’re in or what appointments are coming up, even though it's all you can think about.
You're expected to keep working, managing the house, and prepping for baby while they're praised for assembling a crib one afternoon.
You're exhausted and craving support, but they complain when sex isn’t as frequent.
Key Insight: Resentment in pregnancy is often about feeling unseen, like your transformation is invisible to the person closest to you. If you’re feeling unseen, it’s time to address it now before baby comes. Our pre-baby blueprint coaching will help you get your expectations and feelings out on the table so you can work through them with our support.
Resentment in the Postpartum Period
Postpartum is fertile ground for resentment. You’re healing physically, adjusting emotionally, and expected to care for a newborn with almost no rest.
Examples of postpartum resentment:
“He gets to sleep through the night while I’m up every 90 minutes nursing.”
Feeling ragey when your partner says they’re tired, but they haven’t touched a nighttime diaper or feeding.
You're managing lactation, recovery, and all the pediatric appointments, while they get to “help” occasionally and still work out or see friends.
You feel isolated while they go back to work and act like life is normal.
Reminder: This resentment often stems from role imbalance and the belief that one partner’s needs have been deprioritized completely. If you’re feeling an imbalance, it’s a red flag for support! We can help without judgment.
Resentment With a Young Baby
As you move out of the newborn fog, resentment can shift from sleep and survival mode to expectations, time, and decision-making.
Examples of resentment with a young baby (3–12 months):
You’re the one researching solids, schedules, and sleep routines, while they shrug and say, “You’re better at that stuff.”
They’re praised for “babysitting” while you’re never off-duty, not even when you’re sick.
They get to pursue hobbies, career goals, or social time without considering the logistics of childcare.
You’re expected to ask for help, but they never take initiative or anticipate what’s needed.
Important Shift: This season often highlights lack of partnership and the ongoing effects of unequal cognitive load. Once this becomes evident, you want to take care of it before it goes even further. Let us help you look at what is working, what’s not working, and what needs to change to build the partnership you dream of.
Resentment While Parenting Toddlers
Toddlers bring new challenges: more mobility, bigger emotions, and constant negotiation. The load gets heavier, not lighter.
Examples of toddler parenting resentment:
You’re managing tantrums, meals, potty training, and emotional coaching while your partner checks out with their phone.
They say they “don’t know what to do” with big emotions, so you’re always the one de-escalating and teaching.
You feel like the default parent for every meltdown, doctor’s appointment, and preschool form.
They still get more time away, more sleep, more fun—and you’re running on fumes.
At This Stage: Resentment is often tied to decision fatigue, being the default parent, and the sense that your partner hasn’t grown with the role like you have. If you’re in this space and tired of the patterns you’ve built, don’t wait until you become empty-nesters and have decades of resentment to address. Start now. We can still help you!
Why It Matters to Name Resentment
When resentment is ignored, it builds walls. It festers in silence and erodes connection. But when you name it clearly, it becomes something you can understand—and shift.
Start by noticing the story beneath the resentment:
Do you feel unappreciated?
Overworked?
Like you’ve lost yourself?
Then, get honest about what you need, not just from your partner, but for yourself.
What You Can Do to Start Improving Resentment Today
Download our free Mental Load List Template to identify your invisible work.
Join our workshop on Mastering the Mental Load to shift the dynamic at home.
Or, book a Relationship Reset Call and build a custom action plan with me.
