Fatherhood Needs Community Too
Just yesterday I was in a group of other service providers who work with families- thearpists, lactation consultants, occupational therapists, doulas, etc. and asked about spaces just for men and fathers to get more support. Let me tell you this- as far as I’ve been able to find, there aren’t many.
In a world where parenting circles are often dominated by mothers, it's both refreshing and deeply encouraging to witness fathers coming together to support one another. The viral video of a group of dads singing lullabies to their babies isn't just adorable—it's a reminder of the transformative power of male connection in parenthood. And I hope to someone reading, it’s a call out to do the damn thing- be the guy who brings together other guys and makes being a guy a more community oriented thing, especially in fatherhood.
The Power of Dads Showing Up
For so long, society has painted fathers as the stoic providers—there, but not always emotionally engaged. And there can be debates for years on end about how society got to this picture and who continues to uphold this toxic “ideal.” While I enjoy talking through the role of the patriarchy and gender norms, I want to focus on the opportunities for change here.
The good news? More and more dads are stepping into the role of not just being present, but being nurturing, emotionally available parents. And it’s not just great for their kids—it’s great for them, too. I’d even venture to say that it’s good for society as a whole, the kind of thing we need in order to keep progressing together, a deconstruction of toxic masculinity and an invitation to being human in a more in-touch way.
Studies show that when dads are hands-on, it leads to stronger cognitive, social, and emotional development in their children. And for dads themselves, being actively involved in parenting doesn’t just feel good, it actually lowers stress and brings a deeper sense of satisfaction. It’s a win-win for everyone.
Recognizing Postpartum Depression in Fathers
While postpartum depression (PPD) is often associated with mothers, it's crucial to acknowledge that fathers can experience it too. Studies estimate that between 8% and 13% of fathers suffer from PPD, with the risk increasing to 50% when the mother is also affected.
Symptoms in men may manifest differently, including irritability, indecisiveness, stress, and exhaustion . Unfortunately, due to societal expectations and stigma, many men may underreport these symptoms, leading to underdiagnosis and lack of treatment. They “man up” which can really mean “stuff everything down.”
Building Community and Friendship in Fatherhood
Creating a supportive community is vital for fathers navigating the challenges of parenthood. Here are some practical ways for dads to build connections:
Join Dad Groups: As mentioned above, it seems to be much more difficult to find a dad group than a mom group. However, there are some local options so ask around (or go to google). If there isn’t one, start it. Maybe it’s a weekly walk. Maybe it’s a playground meet up. Maybe it’s a book club. Get over your ego and connect.
Attend Events with Children: Participating in school functions, sports games, or community events can be a natural way to meet other fathers and share experiences. Start a conversation with someone you see there.
Engage in Online Communities: Social media platforms host numerous groups where fathers can seek advice, share stories, and find support. (However my hot tip is to take a look into the background of the group- I’ve found a few that are pretty normal on the landing page but have some hidden Christian Nationalist ties- don’t go there.)
Participate in Workshops or Training Groups: These settings offer structured environments for fathers to learn, share, and grow together. Plus, if you want to meet someone with similar values to you, this is a great way to already make the crowd more curated to your interest.
Start a Local Meetup: If existing groups aren't available, consider initiating a local gathering of fathers to foster camaraderie and mutual support.
Embracing a New Narrative
Men finding community together (outside of the office or golf course) challenges outdated stereotypes and highlights the importance of emotional expression and community among men. By supporting one another, fathers can navigate the complexities of parenthood more effectively and foster environments where both they and their children thrive.
As society continues to evolve, it's imperative to recognize and support the emotional and psychological needs of fathers. Encouraging open conversations, providing resources, and building communities are essential steps toward a more inclusive and supportive approach to parenting.
Resources for Further Support
For fathers seeking additional support and information, consider exploring the following resources:
All Pro Dad: Offers daily parenting advice, articles, and local chapters for fathers to connect and grow.
Postpartum Support International: Provides resources and support for fathers experiencing postpartum depression.
Books:
The Expectant Father: The Ultimate Guide for Dads-to-Be by Armin Brott and Jennifer Ash
Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters by Meg Meeker
DAD: Untold Stories of Fatherhood, Love, Mental Health and Masculinity
Online Communities: Platforms like Reddit's r/daddit or Facebook groups dedicated to fatherhood offer spaces for sharing experiences and advice.
Remember, seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness. By coming together, fathers can redefine parenthood and create lasting positive impacts on their families and communities.
Deepening Your Bond with Your Wife
Finding support and building a strong community alongside your partner is one of the most powerful ways to navigate the challenges of parenthood. Having other fathers in your life is a major gift—fathers who understand what you’re going through and can share the highs and lows with you. But it’s just as important to grow hand in hand with your partner. This journey isn’t just about managing the day-to-day; it’s about strengthening your relationship, learning together, and knowing you’re not alone in the process.
This kind of partnership takes intention and effort—and that’s where coaching can make all the difference. With the right guidance, you and your partner can build the communication, trust, and understanding that make both parenting and your relationship thrive. If you’re looking for a way to find that support and grow as a team, my Relationship Blueprint Coaching offers the tools, accountability, and encouragement to help you navigate parenthood side by side.
