What to Say When You Don't Know What to Say: Real-Life Scripts for Better Conversations in Your Relationship
Have you ever stood in the kitchen, heart racing, knowing something needs to be said — but you don’t know how to say it without starting a fight or shutting down your partner?
Yeah. Me too.
Whether it's bringing up something awkward, asking for help, or saying "that hurt my feelings" in a way that doesn’t sound like an attack… communication in relationships can feel like trying to untangle holiday lights. Blindfolded. On a deadline.
This is exactly why I created my free Communication Scripts. Because even the healthiest relationships need a little help putting feelings into words.
The Problem: Why Talking Is So Damn Hard
Here’s the thing — most of us didn’t grow up seeing emotionally safe, direct, respectful communication modeled.
We saw conflict avoidance.
We saw passive aggression.
We saw yelling or withdrawal.
We saw silence being mistaken for peace.
So now, as adults, especially those of us parenting, working, or carrying the weight of emotional labor, it makes sense that our words get tangled when emotions are high.
Stats to consider:
According to a 2021 study in the Journal of Marriage and Family, communication breakdown is one of the top three predictors of long-term dissatisfaction in relationships.
A report from the Gottman Institute shows that how couples start a conversation predicts how it will end 96% of the time. (Yes, 96%!)
And in my own work with hundreds of couples, I’ve seen the same pattern: we wait too long to say what we need, and then we say it in the heat of the moment.
Common Moments That Trip Us Up
You’re not alone if you’ve felt stuck during moments like:
Wanting more help with household tasks, but not wanting to nag
Feeling emotionally disconnected and unsure how to bring it up
Needing space, but fearing it’ll be taken the wrong way
Trying to apologize without feeling like you're groveling
Asking for intimacy without triggering shame or defense
These are real moments. And they require real language. Not Instagram quotes. Not generic “use I statements” advice. Actual sentences. Actual examples.
What You Wish You Could Say
Let’s be honest. You probably have moments when your brain thinks:
“I need you to stop scrolling and actually listen.”
“I’m carrying way too much and I’m burning out.”
“I want to feel wanted again — not just needed.”
But those words don’t always come out like that. They come out sideways.
That’s why I created the Communication Scripts — real examples of what to say and how to say it when emotions are high but connection still matters.
What’s Inside the Free Scripts Download
✅ 6+ conversation starters for common hard moments
✅ Scripts for both initiating a conversation and responding
✅ Tips on timing, tone, and delivery
✅ Examples that feel real, not robotic
✅ Validation that you're not crazy for struggling with this
How to Use the Scripts
You don’t need to memorize anything. Just:
Read them once through
Keep them saved on your phone or printed on your nightstand
Use them as a jumping-off point (your voice, your words, your way)
Think of them like training wheels for your communication style. Over time, your words will come more easily, because you’ve practiced speaking without fear.
Tried and True Communication for New Parents
Before we became parents, my husband and I knew that we had different lived experiences and appraoches to communication. Sure, we had some arguments, but they felt so much “easier” back then. We could go our own ways, take a break, and be responsible for ourselves in so many ways. When we entered parenthood, so much of that changed. We couldn’t both go take a break at the same time (someone had to keep the baby fed.) We couldn’t agree to disagree on a lot of things because our decisions had so much more overlap with one another.
We needed communication to be respectful, productive, and smart. So we committed to learning as much about our communication as we were learning about things like baby sleep and milestones- knowing that our communication was the foundation for our family and the energy our kids would grow up experiencing. The scripts I’m offering you aren’t just made up, they are tried and true. They are lived out. They are an offering of “I hope you can avoid some of the disconnect and frustration we felt as new parents.”
Why This Matters (Especially for Parents)
When you model emotional communication — even imperfectly — your kids notice.
They don’t need you to be perfect.
They need to see you trying.
They need to hear “I was feeling defensive, and I’m working on that” as much as they hear “I love you.”
Your home becomes a safer place when language is used to bridge instead of break.
Ready to Talk Like a Team?
You don’t have to keep freezing in hard moments.
You don’t have to Google “how to talk to my partner when I’m mad” at 11 PM.
Get the exact words you need — so you can say the hard things with love, not fear.
Final Note for Stressed Parents
This isn’t about “fixing” your relationship.
It’s about learning how to connect more honestly and safely even when it’s messy.
You’re not behind.
You’re not broken.
You just need tools.
And this is a great one to start with.
